RELIANT

I can hardly make it through my day without coffee.  I just don't even like to try.  I mean it makes me moody and sluggish to give it up.  I'm not even sure if it is simply the caffeine that affects me or if it is more out of habit.  I sure do depend on that cup every morning to start my day off right.
So, this begs the question: Who the Hell do I think I am to take Hanson's pacifier away?
It has the same effect on him.  Hmmmm.  I can't exactly replace the pacifier with coffee.  And the bottle might help once in a while for now...but he's only got a couple more months left to enjoy that.
And yet, both of this pacifiers sit on my counter, unused since Sunday morning.

I really expected more of a fight from this kid.  We kept him busy all day, and he was so worn out he fell asleep in the car at nap time so he didn't notice not having it.  Then he did fuss a little in the evening, but a little extra attention was all he needed, and when I laid him in his crib I handed him a frog that has chimes inside and turned off the light and closed the door after kissing him.  Not a peep until six o'clock this morning.
Yet, if my Folger's container is running dangerously low I'm in panic mode....plotting out a trip to Harding's at the next available opportunity and even fantasizing about the creamer possibilities in the dairy section.
To say I'm reliant on it would be the understatement of my adult life.
To give it up would be torture.
And yet I expect my nine month old son to accomplish this very same thing: to become no longer reliant on something. 
I'm not really sure what the point would be for me to totally stop drinking coffee.  I really don't have anything to prove to anyone...I'm freely admitting it's an obsession of mine.  I once declared via Facebook status that my blood type is Starbucks.
But, it might not be a bad thing, if like Hanson, I didn't rely on it throughout the day. 
There really is no reason I can't try. 
He's been without his object of obsession for a little over twenty-four hours now, and he's just fine.
I'm thinking I could be too.
I mean, there is no reason I can't make it at least twenty-five hours until my next cup of coffee.
And until then, I better find something else to keep me from screaming my head off prompting my husband to grab one of those pacifiers and shove it in my mouth.

Enjoy

This picture is one of my pals and her cute sparkly gloves with pink gloves over them, holding a Long Island at a hockey game.  Let me tell you, she had a blast that night at the game.  I'm not sure how much fun she had the next morning, but she was definitely enjoying every sip of that drink and every minute of that game.  Her kids were no where in sight, and she wasn't Mom.  She was just her.
Obviously, I'm in no condition for a stiff drink.
However, if I were, I might have needed one the other day based solely on the horrible day another friend of mine had dealt with, because I found myself stuck in Mommy mode, and not in "Anna as the friend" mode.
I'm neither encouraging or discouraging the act of consuming alcohol here.  And, every person I may describe as someone who has done so, was definitely of the legal age to do so.
What I'm suggesting is that there is no harm in it, if you are doing it for the right reasons.
When I have a beer, or a drink, it is because I actually enjoy those drinks.  I love the taste of beer.  I'm not trying to escape a reality, or to turn into some crazed angry version of myself.  I don't want to be wasted beyond recognition.  What I'm looking for is more like the feeling of a kid who has eaten too much candy.
I definitely don't drink often.  I'd say I only drink socially a couple of times a month.  And for now, I can expect to enjoy my next alcoholic beverage maybe this New Year's Eve.  That's fine with me and definitely worth it.  I can find new drinks to enjoy, such as the delicious Caramel Apple Spice concoction I discovered Friday night at Starbucks which is pseudo-healthy (hello, apple cider?) AND caffeine free. 
The point of the drink isn't the alcohol.
The point of the drink is that it is something out of the ordinary, that makes me feel a little less "Mommy" and a lot more "Me".  It needs to be three things: tasty, prepared for me, and it has to have a cool name like "Pomegranate Blueberry" or "White Raspberry Chocolate Mocha".  It helps me enjoy myself, as the "me version" I know who doesn't have a Cheerio stuck in her hair and Toy Story Underoos on her sofa.
Quick side note: I know there are people out there who don't want children and view them as an inconvenience and interruption to what they deem an enjoyable life full of adventure, travel, and free time.  I'm not saying that they are right...I don't need to travel a long distance to see the beauty of this world.  I find that in watching my older son "pow" my younger son in the head with a diaper and listening to them giggle profusely.  Adventure?  Well what could be more adventurous than leaving my house with two boys under two fully knowing that nothing will go according to plan?  And free time, well, I'll take my life of laundry and bed time stories any day, because time is never free.  Every moment is a choice and there is no point in doing nothing when I can spend it with people I love.  Life with kids may be demanding, but there is nothing more spontaneous and enjoyable to me than being a parent.
However, the part of me that enjoys a drink now and then is still an important person to her friends and family that knew her before she was a Mommy.  I don't want to let them down and if having a beer or overpriced coffee helps me get back to being her, well, then I'll do it.  It is what works for me.
I know there are people in this world who don't believe in drinking, and maybe even think it makes me a bad person.  I respect your opinion, but I'm still looking forward to a toast at midnight this coming New Year's Eve.
For now, I'm planning my next trip to Starbucks for that amazing Caramel Apple Spice, and thankful that baby Turkey enjoys it too.