NORMAL

Today marks the fifth anniversary of my wedding.  It was a beautiful, hot day, and I don't know where time has gone. 

Back then, it was normal for my day to consist of getting out of bed late, enjoying an uninterrupted shower, going to work with no one's bodily fluids on my clothing, eating a breakfast I don't have to share at my desk, lunching with friends, and then a nice quiet evening with my husband where he watched television with foul language and I read a Jane Austen book.

Funny how things change.

After five years and two kids, it is not out of the ordinary for a Cheeto to go whizzing past my ear as I'm trying to change a diaper and keep dinner from getting burnt.  Coincidentally, you wouldn't think it possible for a bowl of Cheerios to become charred, but life with two boys can affect things in ways you never expected. 

I don't give it a second thought that my floor is covered with an inch thick layer of ground up goldfish crackers, or that I found a Batman in the refrigerator.  Why spend time worrying about these things when if I only get ten minutes of "me" time a day, I should probably use it to shower, eat, and go potty.  And to write that novel I've been thinking of.

I found fresh puke on a Tupperware lid on the floor in my kitchen this morning.  Judging by what it consisted of, I'd guess it was Hanson's, but on a day like today, anything is possible.  When a crash erupted from their bedroom while I was struggling to find a clean shirt, I didn't rush down the hallway.  I waited for a cry.  There was none.  It was all too quiet which meant they were either badly hurt or that they had accomplished whatever mission it is that they had set out to complete.  They were fine...the room is another story. 

When I cuddle on the couch with them and someone falls asleep, I wind up with this wedgie of epic proportions that I simply put up with out of fear that if I move they will awaken.  And then when I fall asleep as well I am startled into consciousness by my two year old vaulting off of the arm and onto my shins.

This is my new normal. 

I know every word to the Hot Dog Song (and if you have to ask what that is you'd probably rather not know).  I can tell what time of day it is by whether or not I see Mickey, Handy Manny, or Cat In the Hat on tv.  I regularly have someone else eating off of my plate and I read books like, "Where the Wild Things Are" and "If You Give a Moose a Muffin."

I used to have a lot of spare time and I used to have adult conversations.  But I didn't have the love of two of the most precious people on this planet.  Life with just my husband and me was great, but it only got better. 

Before, it was normal to go to bed with only one kiss and one person to tell "I love you".  Now I get at least six kisses and I hear "I love you BIGGGG MUCH." 

I actually feel sad for people who think that money and free time are much more enjoyable, because until you love a child (and notice I didn't say have...you can feel this awesomeness with any child you know, it's just even more awesome when they are yours, whether biological or not) you have experienced just how full of joy you can be.  People say that Disney World is the happiest place on Earth, but obviously they don't know what I have.  Even on our worst days, we're still smiling. 

So thank you, Hubs, for five years, two and a half kids, and for my new normal.