UNFAIR

Please be warned: my writing today contains adult language.

Just don't give up trying to do what you really want to do. 
Where there is love and inspiration,
I don't think you can go wrong.

-Ella Fitzgerald

If you've known me for more than five minutes, you probably know I don't cry much.  It isn't that I'm uncaring, or lack emotion.  I have so much sometimes it explodes.  It probably has more to do with there being so stinking much in this world that could bring a person to tears, I try to only do it when I really feel I deserve to cry.  What right do I have to feel sorry for myself when other people have been through so much worse?
I cried today.  I just sort of stumbled on this blog, and the story made me bawl.  I'm not going to retell it for her, she deserves that honor herself.  And I hope you do read it.  But, I cried because there was no reason, no warning, no answer to what happened or why.  To quote her: "It is completely fucking unfair."
She really got me thinking about life, and how so many times it just isn't fair.  I mean, we tell our kids that all the time when they complain about how much more chocolate milk someone else got than they did.  "Get used to it....life isn't fair."  But being shortchanged on chocolate milk doesn't hold a candle to how literally fucking unfair life was to her.  There is nothing in life that can prepare you for how wrong life can be, and was for her. 
We see this in nature.  A seed left unplanted, never getting to grow.  An egg falls from a nest, and is crushed by a car tire.  Buds fall from trees, and never become their destiny.

After reading her story, I realized: just because something happens in nature, doesn't make it natural.
Things just should not ever, ever, ever, happen that way.  What really is the point?  We've all seen it, every spring.  The wind and rain slam into branches, knocking those little buds all over our yards and driveways, and they are just done.  Did you know that those buds actually begin forming in late summer?  They are so small we don't notice them.  And all through the snow and ice they sleep, waiting for sun just so they can grow.  So for them to go through so much only to be struck down before they even get a chance to try is just unfair.  It's not supposed to be that way.
I really don't know how I would handle that.  I don't know what I would do, what I would want people to say.  I hope that eventually I'd be able to see the beauty that remains in the world, and that just because a bud might fall, doesn't mean it was never there.  And she has inspired me, because now I want to work on a project that helps us remember they were here.  And they were beautiful, and magical, and had a purpose.
And, even when life is completely fucking unfair, you don't give up on yourself. 

PATTERN

As long as habit and routine dictate the pattern of living, new dimensions of the sould will not emerge. -Henry Van Dyke

The curtains hanging in my kitchen window are way underrated.  I don't notice or appreciate them nearly enough.  The pattern that is cut into them is just darling, and it got me thinking about how repetitive life can be at times.

I spend most days the same way.  Not because I want to, but out of necessity.

For example, I have to feed my children breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

I have to do mundane household chores that I know inevitably are just going to need more doing tomorrow.

I have to go to work on days I'm scheduled.

I have to pay bills, but sometimes I'm not very good at it.

What I don't have to do is make each day consumed with only what I must do.

Every day has the potential for newness!

I can choose what I do in between all that other stuff, even if all I get is fifteen minutes a day.

But I can also make the repetitive necessary evils of adult life a little bit less, well, annoying.

I can throw caution to the wind and have Thin Mints for breakfast.

I can let Landon help me with the laundry and laugh at how he tells me my shirt is beautiful.

I can dance with Hanson in the kitchen while Landon is eating lunch.

I can get a phone call from a friend out of the blue that is positively awesome.

All of the crap that we do day in and day out because we have to is not what makes up our day.

If you put your own little spin on everything you do, well then nothing is every really boring or repetitive.

You know that saying, "Life is what you make it"?

Well, what is life if nothing more than a big collection of days and moments?

So, this moment, this day, is what you make it.

You can't control all aspects of it, but you can control how you let it affect you and your reaction to it.

You can tell yourself it's a new day and it CAN be new and exciting...even if you are doing exactly what you did yesterday. 

If each does is going to follow a pattern, you might as well make it one you like.

Present

When someone gives you something, the way in which they present it has an effect on your reaction.
Doesn't matter if it is a gift, or an opinion, or a Happy Meal.
Would you eat a Happy Meal if someone said, "Here, I brought you a Happy Meal fat ass..."
Probably not.
If the man of your dreams threw a box containing a full carat princess cut antique set diamond at you and said, "I guess we can get married so you'll shut the hell up about it," I find it hard to believe you'd be excited.
When a friend wants to hang out and then sits there the entire time with a bad attitude, I'd bet you'd be wishing you had spent your time elsewhere.
It makes sense to think that what you say and do matters, but so does the way in which you say things and do things. 
There is a Chinese Proverb that goes something like this:
Be careful of your thoughts, for your thoughts inspire your words.
Be careful of your words, for your words precede your actions.
Be careful of your actions, for your actions become your habits.
Be careful of your habits, for your habits build your character.
Be careful of your character, for your character decides your destiny.
Food for thought: if our thoughts eventually wind up as our character and destiny, and all we ever have on our mind is negativity, well, you can figure that one out...
The point here is this-you might think that one little word or one little action isn't serious.  But it might be, to someone.  You are the only person who can decide who matters and whether or not you care, but one thing is for sure...if you want someone to thing your gift/opinion/Happy Meal is shitty, then present it in a shitty way.  It will happen.  And you'll be viewed as having a shitty attitude.  And it might change how that person feels about you.
If you want someone to appreciate your gift, or opinion, or Happy Meal, then present it as though it is a present: with care, goodwill, and love.  You'll get much farther.  The beauty of the box you use or the size of the bow doesn't matter so much as the consideration of your recipient.  Choose your words carefully, and deliver them in the nicest way possible.  Because it might not matter to you, but it could matter to them.
People might not remember exactly what you said or exactly what you did, but they will forever remember how you made them feel.

SHINE

I live in the booming metropolis of Hartford, Michigan.  What we lack in glitz we make up for in our residents.  About three years ago, we tragically lost a girl named Vanessa, but she has not stopped shining.
Vanessa was not someone I would call a close friend.  I was older than her, so didn't really know her in school.  In this town, you always know everyone in one way or another, so I knew Vanessa as Bobby's little sister.  I smiled when I watched Vanessa receive the crown and title of Miss Hartford, because I could tell that it wasn't what was on top of Vanessa's head that made her a queen.  It was what she had inside.  Now Vanessa's younger sister is following in her footsteps, and I can't help but think of her today and smile, and hope she knows her big sister is rooting for her.
Vanessa's life was short, but big.  It's not the number of years in your obituary that really count, it's all summed up in the dash in between the year you were born and the year you left.  Funny how such a small character "-" can represent so much! 
People strive for immortality in so many ways.  Anti-aging creams and ointments.  There are monuments and mountains named for scientists and politicians and stars on sidewalks with the hand prints of movie stars.  There are books written and movies made and awards and money to leave behind.  But what does all that really matter if you haven't found joy in your life and brought joy to others?
I hope that when my day comes, I've done enough with myself to have half the shine Vanessa has. 
I hope I've brought joy to others, and helped them when I could.
I hope I've given my children the tools to care for themselves, and been an example of a person living a happy life, regardless of my circumstances.
I hope I've done my best.
I find it sad that we don't get to see where Vanessa could have taken herself, and maybe the rest of us.  She was the type of person that left beauty wherever she went.  I know she'd be doing something great with herself and in some way she'd be helping others.  In a way she still is.  She's inspired me today.
We'll never get to know what sort of mountains she'd have moved or how far in this world she'd have gone if she were still here. But in this little town, she's forever made a mark.
So today is for her, and I find it no coincidence that the sun is shining.

EASE

If you haven't heard by now, I'm delighted to announce that my family is expecting an addition sometime around Thanksgiving Day.  The discovery of this was joyous and wonderful, although I knew I had a long road ahead of me.  Neither of my boys made things very easy on Mommy when they were carefully developing.  I'd bear any burden necessary for my children, so while it sucks, it's worth the discomforts I'd experienced: nausea and morning sickness that lasted well over half of each pregnancy.  Other than that, I'd been fairly lucky with my share of pregnancy woes and didn't have much to complain about.
This time around, I'm finding the absence of this symptom a little frightening and I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop.  I think instead I've been given heartburn, and I have yet to discover which foods are triggering this disturbing phenomenon.  In the mean time, I have befriended a bottle of Tums, and at the point in my day when the discomfort is unbearable, I share a private moment with my Tums.  They are the only thing that I've found which ease the burn.

I happen to be a "pay it forward" type of person, so I was mulling over the concept of antacids and how I could apply this to my life.  (Yes, I know, I'm weird.)  Antacids are used to alleviate ailments such as heartburn, indigestion, sour stomach, etc.  So, if a taco is what ruins my day, the Tums are what makes it better.  Hmmmmmmm.
Apparently, all I need to do in order to spread the love my Tums have given me, is to make some one's day better and not worse.  I think I can do this with ease.
For starters, who plans their own agenda for the day around ruining someone elses day?  No one sets out to do that.  I don't think I need to concern myself with how to NOT BE some one's heartburn.  It's safe to say that even the people I don't care for really have no reason to worry I might cause them grief.  Frankly I've got better things to do.
The better way to go about this is that when I see someone, whether I know them or not, having a rough moment/day/week/eternity, I can ask how I can ease their road and make it less bumpy.  I can listen to them talk.  I can make cookies.  I can steer them towards someone else who can help them better than me.
I've found a new goal in this bottle of pink and purple chalky circles.  It pleases me greatly to think that rather than leaving a sour acidic growl in some one's day I can be the one to ease it.  In this spirit, I've found a new motto:
Don't be the heartburn.  Be the Tums. 

FOCUS

After my dishes had been washed the other day, there were quite a few bottles standing on my counter.  I grabbed one and prepared it for Hanson, and as I did this, he never reached for any of the empty bottles.  His focus was intently on the one that had his food in it. 

I can learn from this.
There is so much going on constantly.  So much to do, so little time.  So many people to keep happy, not enough ways to do it.  You can't please everyone all day long.
When I feel overloaded, like there is too much going on in my background, I need to think like Hanson.
I need to focus only on what matters at that moment.
Sometimes, it's as simple as I need to get my kids fed, dressed, and out the door.  The household chores can wait.
Sometimes, it's I'm a little too tired and the extra hour of sleep is more important than the season final of Jersey Shore.
Sometimes, it's knowing that when you're working on a project, everyone sees it from a different angle, and while someone might not like it, there are going to be others who do.
Because what matters to each of us is different.
We all see things in our own unique way.  Any baby other than Hanson could have looked at my counter as a bottle buffet.  Or have been so overwhelmed with all the choices that they didn't know what to do.
I guess what's important is that my focus is where I want it to be, and not where someone else thinks it should be.  I'm going to focus on what matters, to me.  And as long as I'm doing that, I'm happy.

BOUNCE

"Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you, and treat you bad.  Let God deal with the things they do because hate in your heart will consume you too."

-Will Smith

Wouldn't it be nice if we could go through life and everything we did turned to gold and every person we spoke to just liked us?  What if we never had to argue with people or have someone criticize us?

How much stress do we carry from day to day because we're worried about what other people think or feel about our words and actions?

Doesn't it sometimes feel like you just got knocked off your chair when someone hurts you?

When you fall, don't crash.  Bounce.

Think like a ball.  Hit the ground hard and get right back into the air. 
There is no need to let some one's opinion or comment ruin your day.  Feel the anger/frustration/hurt, and then let it go.  I don't know about you but my idea of fun is not to sit around obsessing over a thought or idea I don't agree with anyway.  So this is me, bouncing.
I have things that bothered me five minutes ago, and now I'm smiling.  (With a little help from a McFlurry-Thanks Leslie.)
I will let these negative ideas and people deal with themselves, because it can't change me, it won't break me, and their opinion doesn't make me.  I'm still going to be me, whether they like me or not.
I'd rather stick true to what I love and my ideals than to make someone else happy and fit their mold.
I can breathe easier just by telling myself I'm letting it go, I am more than this moment.

I can finish my day without the stress and anxiety.

I just might even play ball.

REMIND

I bought this little wooden block with the words "smile often" painted on it when we were in Punta Gorda, Florida last year.  At the time I thought I was overpaying for it, but now I disagree.  I thought it was cute, and a reminder of the good times we had while on the trip, but now it has become so much more.

A simple little piece of wood is now a daily reminder of what I have to smile for.

There are the big things, like my health, my husband, and my kids, family, and friends.

There is the sunshine outside my window.

There is the empty sink in my kitchen.

There is the bubble bath I came home to after work last night.

It is so extremely easy to hover from day to day caught up in the things we hate to deal with.

It can't be easy to remember to smile when there are hundreds of things we all could frown about.

I can remember when I was younger and I'd make stupid faces my Mom/Grandma/Aunts would tell me my face would get stuck that way.  If I smile enough can it get stuck that way too?

Sometimes I really don't want to smile.  I want to be frustrated or hurt or angry.

And I see this little block sitting on the mirrored shelf in my kitchen.

Instantly my day is just a little less horrible, and if I just force myself to smile it sort of just creeps back in anyway.  I don't have to have a perfect day to smile.

I don't even need a good day to smile.

I just need to remind myself that I have the choice to do so.

DELIGHT

It's hard for to listen to people complain about kids doing things that kids are supposed to do.
"My kids won't stop fighting over their toys this morning."
"The kitchen floor is covered with Cheerios because my three year old made herself breakfast.  Great."
"I'm sick of fighting with my teenager to get out of bed and get ready for school."
Parenting isn't supposed to be easy.  I sure have my fair share of days where I've had about enough.
But I'm still blessed. 
I know many people who would give anything to have what I have.
So I can honestly say that I try to find delight in every moment.  Sometimes, they are just precious:

Sometimes, it's pure chaos.  Hanson pulls Landon's hair and Landon yells at him.  Landon chucks Lightning McQueen across the living room right into Hanson's shoulder, and he starts wailing.  Landon dumps his baked beans on the floor just as Hanson's diaper is at critical volume...and we all know how I feel about poop. 
But even in those moments there is pleasure.  Landon picking the car up and showing Hanson how to "drive" it.  Hanson and Landon both laughing at Mommy's "poopy smell" nose.
I see Facebook updates and read articles about people who only see where improvements can be made in their kids' actions.  But where do they think children learn these things?
It got me wondering, if my kids were to complain about me via status update, what would they say? 
Hanson's might say, "Uggg.  Mom gave me Cheerios for breakfast.  Again."
And Landon's would be close to, "If my Mommy tells me no one more time I'm going to lose it!" 
(Funny...that's the same complaint I most often hear Moms give about their toddlers.)
I don't want to hear that from my kids.  Instead I'd like it to say something like, "I found delight just sitting with my mother today."
I can start by trying it myself, with them.  It doesn't have to be a special event for it to be special.
I can find delight pretty much anywhere I decide to look for it.

PLAY

Some people just never learn to play nice.
My husband plays on a men's hockey league every Friday night, and a couple of weeks ago we were invited to go out for dinner afterwords to celebrate one of his teammate's birthdays.
Apparently there was another player, also with a birthday dinner, that we were unaware of, and second grade hilarity ensued.
One of the nicest girls I know (a fellow hockey wife) was asked by someone attending the other dinner where we were going.  She informed them we were going to Hooters, and they responded with, "adults still go there?"  Who would have thought that there would be more hits off the ice?
Incidentally...they were headed to Red Robin, where they give out balloons.  Just sayin'.
I firmly believe everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but at what point does an "opinion" become an insult?
Simply by attending a dinner at a restaurant she did not choose, my friend (as well as the rest of us going) had been labeled as immature. 
I find it most ironic that someone so mature would need to make a comment such as this.  Of course, there's a history in all of this that is just too long and complex to get into, but that's the past.  It shouldn't affect this or any other future occasion. 
When I was little, I was informed of the rules when I wanted to play with other kids.  These were rules my parents gave ME, despite what other kids did.
1. Stay where I can see you.
2. Respect other people's things.
3. Treat others as you want to be treated.
TREAT OTHERS AS YOU WANT TO BE TREATED. 
So simple, and yet someone who thinks themselves to be so adult can't even follow the most basic rule of play, work, and basic social interaction.
If life is a playground, the person who made this comment is the insecure bully.
If life is a game, this person should have received a penalty.
If being an adult means you get to talk down to your friends, I think I want to go back to playing where my parents can see me.  Even my two year old grasps the concept that if you want people to be nice to you, you have to be nice yourself.
For the record, those of us that are still immature have definitely had the last laugh...and continue to laugh about it. 
Last Friday, after the game, we took our kids to Red Robin, after all, if growing up means you have no fun, I am perfectly fine with not being an adult.

HANG

I want a hammock.  Only I don't want it on some tropical beach with sunshine and sand.  I don't even care if it's "warm".  I'm comfy in my jeans and a hoodie.  So, let's put that hammock somewhere in the middle of the orchard at Big Dan's U-Pick Em here in Hartford, maybe in early May, when the air is just warm enough and there is a slight breeze to sway me back and forth.  I think a nap would be inevitable.
I want a tire swing.  I want it out far enough on a limb that I don't have to worry about hitting the trunk of the tree it hangs from.  I want to spin and twirl and laugh the afternoon away just swaying.
I want to sit on the dock over at Forest Beach and let my feet hang off into the water.  I want to watch kids jump in and splash.  I want to jump in myself.
I love watching bags full of candy sway back and forth and round and round in the hands of little Buzz Lightyears and Cinderellas every Halloween. 
I can't wait until Christmas, when I can let Landon help me hang the ornaments on the tree and explain where they came from and what they represent.  I can't wait for Hanson to pull them all down.
I love wearing earrings...partly because they are cute and fun, but also because I like how it feels to have something with weight hanging by my cheek and neck.
I'm captivated by mistletoe, wind chimes, bats, traffic lights, pinatas, apples still on the tree, and those weights in the produce department at Harding's.
I'm obsessed with things that hang.
They are amazing, really.  Completely affixed to a certain point yet still able to move about freely when a breeze comes up or some force pushes or pulls. 
I like this idea.  That I can have an anchor to the sky but fly everywhere on a whim.
I want to hang.

COMPARE

Woman, by nature, can not help but to size each other up according to physical appearance and demeanor.  It's just innate.  We don't even realize we are doing it.  It's not always malicious in nature.  More often, for me at least, it's purely a tool to learn what I can about a person.
A few days ago I had my eight month old, Hanson, at the pediatrician's office with a nasty cough.  While we were waiting, a woman walked in with a girl I can only assume was her daughter, who I'd guess was about 11.  They did not speak, except for when Mom told Daughter, "I'm going to the bathroom, you will stay here and if they call you back, well, I be there when I get done."
Daughter sat down and immediately pulled out her Ipod Touch and began texting/gaming/whatever.
When Mom returned, I noticed her pretty greenish blue blazer.  She was average height and weight, and had longish curly hair.  She didn't look at or speak to her child.
She was wearing three pairs of earrings on each ear, and I counted a minimum of five necklaces, which normally would seem a little excessive, but for some reason she sort of pulled it off.  She was reading the latest issue of "Ladies Home Journal", and on the cover it said "Beat Belly Fat" right next to a photo of a mountain of desserts.  Mixed signals indeed.
Each wrist had a myriad of bracelets with various charms and things.  She was wearing jeans.
Her cell phone rang, and she answered it, telling someone that she'd left them a check for this week and next week on the counter...don't worry about washing the whites, and could they clean up the upstairs bathroom.
She has a cleaning person and two bathrooms.
This whole time I'm sitting there, with my ponytail and one necklace, wearing a cute tank top and bolero sweater that my little darling had just wiped his snot on, feeling cray insufficient in the accessory department. I was also exhausted, nauseaus, and had a headached the size of Texas coming on, but still surprisingly chipper. I thought about my disaster of a living room and the fact that my one bathroom looked like Toys R Us had exploded in it.
I felt bare compared to her.  I played with Hanson, and eventually my gaze made its way to her shoes. 
And that is when I felt sweet victory.

With all that silver sparkle around her face and hands, this poor woman had utterly neglected her feet. 
She was wearing what I can only describe as Mom clogs!  I could not believe my eyes.
I looked down at my own shoes: Vera Wang peep-toe sandals with a four inch heel.
Considering my nausea and headache I'd been thinking they were a poor choice, but those shoes in combination with my pedicure was an immediate ego boost beyond imagination.
But you know what?  It really doesn't matter what jewelry or clothing this other woman had. 
If she were wearing rags it wouldn't have made my outfit any better.
I didn't feel better about my efforts because of what she was wearing.  I felt better because of MY shoes and MY pedicure.  My self value does not come from others.  It comes from knowing I'm true to myself and comfortable with who I am.  I might not always be a hundred percent happy about my wardrobe or waistline or hairstyle, but on those days I can just put on my new favorite shoes and be happy.  Just look at Cinderella...proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life. 

BURN

When I was about three, I was watching my Aunt Margy curl her hair at my Grandmother's house.  I had to use the restroom, and she left me to do my business with only one instruction: don't touch my curling iron-it's hot!  Well, I've always been a "see it for myself" kind of girl, and earned a small blister on my finger.
When I was six, I colored a picture and went to the kitchen to hang it on the refrigerator.  To say I'm short is an understatement, and I couldn't reach the height that I needed my picture to hang at.  So I climbed up onto a chair....and then fell off.  My inner left forearm landed on a kerosene heater.  I screamed, I cried, I almost puked, it hurt so bad.  I'll never forget that.  After a day or two, this disgusting blister formed, and then eventually healed, and then long after the pain had subsided and the wound had finally healed, I was left with this brownish area where the burn had been.  I still have it, only now my arm is much bigger, so the spot is much smaller, and it's also faded.
I learned at a young age not to play with fire.  Don't touch what's hot and you won't get burnt.
If only life were that simple.  We burn ourselves all the time.  I take a flat iron to the forehead at least twice a year.  I bite into a pizza merely seconds after it has emerged from a 450 degree oven.  I stay out in the sun too long.  I try to cross the hot sand without my sandals.  I care about people who don't care back.
I've burned bridges.  I've lit fire to goals, pictures, and friendships.
But it's not the bridges I've burned that make me who I am.  It's the bridges I've crossed. 
Getting burnt hurts like hell.  Sometimes you get a scar.  But time helps heal every wound....and I truly do mean every wound.  It's not like it never happened.  Just like the brownish area on my arm is a constant reminder of that picture I drew, you might have a blister, a scar, an indication of where the heat got too close or too hot or too much to handle. 
Let this add to your character.  Let it be a part of you that shines. Nothing is so bright as a fire!
I for one love the spot on my arm, it's become something I would miss if it were gone.
And, like burnt hot dogs, some things are even better with a little scorching.

CHOICE

Someone suggested the word "choice" to me, and to be honest, it's taken me a while to think this one through.
I give my son Landon choices everyday.  Cheese stick or apple.  Monster trucks or hockey gear.
Sometimes it's a snap decision, easy.
Sometimes, it's like the biggest decision of his life.

I realized he's sort of like me.
Some days, I fly by the seat of my pants. 
I once got a tattoo on my lunch hour. 
I just woke up that morning and decided to get a new one.  So I did it.  No turning back.  One of my best decisions to date.
Some days, I agonize over the right/correct/best choice for everything.  Which pants will look the best AND be comfortable?  Do I call the pediatrician, potentially wasting both of us time on an unnecessary office visit, or do I let it go a few days, potentially letting an infection worsen?  I literally debate with myself over the kind of toilet paper I buy every time I make that purchase. 
But when making choices, it's not so much the act of making a decision that matters.  It's the outcome. 
It's calling the doctor anyway, because "better safe than sorry."
It's knowing I can sleep well because I don't have to worry about that cough.
Not going would have literally kept me up all night...not only second guessing myself but listening just to make sure he's okay.
It's doing something that I can live with...whether it be letting Landon have ice cream for dinner or not calling someone back.  It's not about what's right/correct/best.  It's about me, living the rest of my life, knowing I did that and being comfortable with my choice. 
It's seeing myself at 80something, in my rocking chair, not thinking, "If only I'd......."
And it's only a wise choice if it's also something I can stick with.  No point in starting something I can't or won't finish.
Choices aren't about what's right. 
Choices aren't about what's correct.
Choices aren't about what's best.
Choices are about being true to yourself, and knowing you did what you needed to do, without caring what other people think, and sticking to it.
It doesn't matter if it takes you five minutes or five months to decide.  It doesn't matter who wants you to do what. 
Sometimes it doesn't even really matter what you choose-it's just the act of making the choice that you need to do.  (Do I have a brownie or a bowl of ice cream....kind of pointless.  I'd say both.)
Choices are about following your heart.
Choices are about what works for you, and your family.
Choices are about whatever doesn't keep you up all night, wishing you'd done the other thing.

GOAL

We try so hard to accomplish so many things in life.  It seems like one moment my only goal was to get across the monkey bars without falling, and then the next it was to get through my "History of the English Language" class with at least a B. 
Now my goals vary from day to day.  I want to finish my bachelor's, but I should probably figure out what I want to do when I grow up before I take a slew of credit hours that are not helpful.  Two nights ago my only goal was to get through the night with a four hour stretch of sleep while dealing with my two and a half year old's croupy cough.  This morning my goal is to find something with at least one nutrient for breakfast and also to get that speeding ticket taken care of.
I've personally discovered that setting goals that are just out of reach to begin with is POINTLESS.  I mean, why set yourself up for that kind of disappointment.  Instead of saying, I want to lose ten pounds in two weeks, why not say I'd like to be healthier and exercise?  Or, instead of saying I'm going to learn to knit, why not say, I'll give it a try?  (By the way, I did try, and promptly decided that I can't sit still for that long, so I'll leave the knitting to people who actually know what they are doing.)
Having goals isn't just good for us, we seem to set goals for ourselves without realizing it.  I have a friend who had this idea in her head of what age she'd be married, and what age she'd start a family....all before she met a husband.  As she watched her birthday go by without a ring, wedding, etc., she experienced a form of grief I think and it made me wonder why we do those things to ourselves.
Life doesn't follow checklists.  You can make one out, cross all the items off, and then still be far from reaching your goal.  Because I believe that the fundamental goal, of all of us, is simple: happiness.
No matter what it is that you are trying to attain, you wouldn't want it if it would make you mad or sad or confused or anything but blissful.
I think the older I get the more things like having a degree, or a big nice house, or a fancy career become "formalities" of life.  How many people do those things just because society says we should? 
(I'm not negating the impact that education, and a home, and a job have on a person's life...obviously they are all very crucial to our well being and happiness.)
What I'm suggesting is that the absence of a piece of paper that says I've studied writing can't stop me from writing.
Having a huge house in a nice neighborhood isn't as important as the way you spend your time while living in your home.
Making a million dollars behind a huge desk doesn't mean you're contributing to the greater well being of yourself, your family, or the world.
Most often I've found that my most rewarding, joyful days are when I'm part of something bigger than what affects only me.  The worst days and most disappointing are the days when I don't even try.  It's like giving up before I hit go.
One thing is for sure: fear of missing the net shouldn't stop you from shooting the puck. 
Because when the horn sounds, well, that's happiness.

DIFFERENT

Same stuff, different day.  Two peas in a pod.  Can't tell one from the other.

I feel like I say these things all the time, to compare people, their relationships, and the way they interact together.
They are all probably fairly accurate, for the most part.  I get stuck in these descriptions though, and sometimes I need to remind myself that no matter what someone did or said yesterday, today can still be different.  People change.  It happens all the time. 
We get so caught up in what we know about people based on past experiences with them that we forget to consider what we don't know.
So I am going to challenge myself to this: When I find myself in a situation I've been in before with people I've been with before, I'm not going to assume I know the outcome. 
I'm going to remember that each moment is new, and therefore an opportunity for change, progression, and growth. 
This includes my own actions.

It's good to know that everyone can be different if they want to be, but that doesn't mean that they are changed.  They can stay themselves, but improve.  Because who doesn't want to try a little harder to be a little better?  I know I do.
And, while most of my days are the same, full of routine, similar actions, people, and things, that doesn't mean they can't be different just by changing my attitude. 

ABSENT

Few things in life are as unique and wonderful as red Starburst jelly beans.  They are only in stores once a year, but this only adds to their wonderfulness.  They look just as appealing as they smell and taste.
I bought a bag yesterday, and someone in this house (ahem.) ate most of them.  Luckily for me I can run up to Harding's and buy another bag.
But what about the rest of the year?  I have to find other things in life that have that wonderfulness.
I look for it everywhere, because it is so evasive.
I've found it in the very first snow every year.
I've seen it falling from the trees in the middle of October.
It's sitting outside my house on a branch in Mrs. Rosa's tree chirping at me.
Wonderfulness of nature.
I've experienced it in a take out container from Galati's in the form of deep fried ravioli.  (Get some TONIGHT. Worth every calorie.)
I've downed it in the form of a cheap cup of coffee from the vending machine at work.
I see it on my son's cheeks when he has eaten all but the crusts of a peanut butter and strawberry jelly sandwich.
Wonderfulness of food.
It hits me in the face when I walk into an ice arena and my nose gets cold.
I see it every morning when I get my baby out of his crib.
I feel it while I'm watching tv and my husband rubs my feet.
Wonderfulness of life.
I can't imagine life without all of these things.  I wouldn't want to live in a world where they are absent. 
It's funny in a way....when something is absent, I notice it's presence more than ever.

MESSY

Every Friday evening, I make a mental list of all the things I'm going to do on Saturday and Sunday.  Things like dust my furniture, shampoo my carpet, clean out my closet.
And then somehow this cyclone of a weekend ensues, and when Monday arrives, I've not only managed to ignore that list but I've also created new things to add to next weekend's list. 
There are sight word flash cards, banana nut Cheerios, and broken crayons littering my dining room floor.  My love seat AND recliner have mountains of towels that need folding. 
An incomplete set of die cast cars from the movie, "Cars" is sticking out of my couch cushions where Landon is napping right now, and I am pretty sure that the thing I stepped on in the hallway earlier was a toy triceratops.  It sure as hell hurt like one. 
My house is in a state of messy chaos.
I should probably be cleaning right now instead of blogging.  In fact, if you ask my husband he'd probably say he needs me to do a load of laundry for him.  Sorry babe.
But to me, a mess isn't forever.  Sure, it's pretty scary in here today, but after a good day or two of work, when I get around to it, it will be back to an acceptable environment.  And I'm sure it will get messy again, sooner than later.  It will pretty much be and on and off thing until these two boys of mine are married.  Because to me having monster trucks under my coffee table and a half eaten apple on top of it is just a moment of this wonderful stage of life I'm at.  I love my kids and I like feeling their presence.  Call me crazy but I can honestly say that when they move out I'm going to miss finding army men in my shoes.

This sort of applies to life as well.  I mean, if you get yourself into a messy situation, you can always clean it up.  And cleaning it doesn't mean it won't happen again.  I don't care how big of a mess you create for yourself.  It's never impossible.  Sometimes you just have to know where to start.

Being messy doesn't last any more in life than it does in my house....only until you get around to dealing with it.

RIGHT

Have you ever lost a piece to a puzzle?  If you have, you're pretty much screwed.

You can try and cram a similar piece in, but you have to damage it and the surrounding pieces in the process. But hey, if you finish your puzzle then who cares, right?

Ummm, wrong.

Sometimes, there is just no right choice where others don't get hurt.

I'm guessing that you make choices every day.  I do:

Boots or flats?

Coffee with cream and sugar or black?

Macaroni and cheese or Chunky Monkey ice cream for dinner?

In fact, everything we do every moment is a choice.  It's not like things like showers or wearing socks or driving a car just happen to us.  We choose to do them, for whatever reason.

And, I don't know a single person that gets out of bed in the morning and says, "I think I will try to make horrible decisions all day long."

But what about those times when the piece you need, the right choice, just simply isn't an option?

Say, for example, that you were offered a job promotion, but reluctant to take it because your good friend and co-worker wants it too and is just as qualified.  How do you know what is the right choice?

Well, you don't, because the outcome sucks, no matter what choice you make.

It's not like you lied or cheated or stepped on anyone to get this promotion.  Is it?

You are very capable of doing the job and could even go above and beyond.  Couldn't you?

You've worked just as hard as your friend for just as long.  Haven't you?

Who knows why your boss picked you.  Maybe a customer gave you a great review or maybe she just liked your outfit today.  Doesn't really matter WHY.

What matters is that you've earned it.

If they are really your friend they'll be happy for you.

So, no, you didn't walk into work that morning thinking, "I can't wait to screw my friend over today."

But it could have just as easily gone the other way.  Unless you have some magical GPS in your brain that says, "for the right decision, turn down the promotion," just be grateful you were chosen. 

There is always going to be a missing piece to the puzzle.  It's very likely that at some point in your life someone will be hurt (whether intentionally or not) by a choice you've made.

But that doesn't mean you made the wrong choice.

It just means you made the choice right for you and not the right choice for everyone else,

and there is no shame in that.

ACCEPT

You have to accept whatever comes and the only important thing
 is that you meet it with the best you have to give. -Earl Nightingale

I bet you have problems. I mean we all do, right? Some more severe than others, but we all have our burdens. I had a conversation recently regarding how you figure out the right way to deal with bad situations. I’m really not an expert.
As far as my worst day, it probably starts with me spilling coffee on my shirt, not getting the laundry done, not getting the dishes done, forgetting someone’s birthday, being too lazy to cook dinner, and then ends with having the cable go out just in time for my Red Wings game to start, and then they lose, in overtime. All of this would be done fifteen minutes behind schedule, just to make it as bad as possible.
I mean it when I say this…I’ve led a pretty charmed life without too much grief or tragedy. All the “small stuff” is just, well, small.
I tried to put myself in her situation, and I couldn’t imagine.
I tried to imagine other situations that would be equally stressful, and I mentally made a list of all of the things that either a friend or family member has gone through this year:
Divorce
Miscarriage
Infidelity
Unemployment
Cancer
Death of a spouse
Complicated and difficult pregnancy
Death of a child
Addiction
Loss of faith
Death of a sibling
Loss of home to fire
Infertility
Diabetes
Death of a lifelong friend
Financial stress
________ (Please fill in the blank. I’m sure this list is just the tip of the iceberg. For me, I‘d put “poop explosion“, since that‘s what I‘ve been dealing with lately. It doesn‘t even compare with the rest, but it still sucks.)
Looking at this list, I can honestly say that although I feel terrible for those dealing with these issues, if we wrote them all on a piece of paper, then mixed them up and drew one, which we had to deal with, I’d pray pray PRAY for poop explosion.
Again, I wouldn’t wish these on anyone, but I wouldn’t want to deal with them either.
But going through this process, I realized something. When you are faced with a problem, whether it be a poop explosion or the most unimaginable terrifying situation, you deal with them the same way.
It’s a safe bet that nobody enjoys poop.

But as a parent, I still have to deal with changing diapers.
I can complain all day, feeling sorry for myself, but my eight month old son is still going to poop. It brings new meaning to the phrase, “Shit happens.” Not every minute is sunshine and roses, right? All I can do is deal with the poop using the tools that I have and with the best of my ability, and know that one day he’ll be potty trained.
Of course, the resources available to deal with things like divorce, cancer, and death are completely different than diapers and wipes. Sometimes people are completely alone and without any of the right tools for the job. But some of them manage to get through just fine, because they have the right attitude. They accept what they are dealing with, whether it be a miscarriage or obesity or an addiction, and they face it head on with a positive attitude. Maybe, just maybe, they wind up better than ever.
Knowing you can’t change anything about a situation doesn’t make it okay. There are things that happen to us in life that just suck. And there are those that says things like, “everything happens for a reason,” or “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” Well that’s nice for them, but when you’ve been trying to get pregnant for eighteen months or you just lost your daughter those aren’t exactly words of comfort. Sometimes you just need someone to be angry or unhappy with you, because that’s all you can muster at the moment.
Hopefully you have the strength to say to yourself, “I’m not happy about this, and I’m not going to just give up, but I don’t have a solution to the problem and I can’t fix it. It’s not in my control. Instead I’m going to focus on what I can do.”
Because that’s all anyone can really do, is give it all they’ve got. And if you’ve done that, you might not get the outcome you wanted, but you’ll know you did everything you could.
　
　
　
　
　

MEASURE

Today, my "little" cousin Courtney is fifteen.

WTF. I'm old.

I started thinking about who she has become,

and naturally I would compare her to other kids her age or even to who I was at fifteen.

Most girls at fifteen can't see past Friday night. 

They obsess over friends, makeup, texting, Facebook, and cute boys.

Wait, maybe I'm still fifteen.

Anyway, some of those things might be true about Courtney, but there is so much more to her.

I realized that you can't measure a person's life by years, or GPA's, or even the things they say and do.

Because to me, she's more than that, whether she likes it or not. 

She doesn't even have to try to impact my life....because she already has.

I measure Courtney like this:

She starts at the first moment I held her.  I was almost thirteen.  Love at first sight.

Then I think of moments.  Courtney laughing at a kitten as a toddler.

Courtney helping me feed her baby brother when I would babysit them.

Courtney hugging our other cousin (who is my age) at the hospital

when our Grandmother passed away and telling her, "It will be okay."

Courtney wearing one of my prom dresses.

Courtney bossing her little brother around.

Courtney letting me paint her nails and do her hair,

but she's nervous when I'm close to her ears with the curling iron.

Courtney, suddenly being taller than me.

Courtney, suddenly being in high school.

Courtney, having a bad day but still one of the greatest kids I've ever known.

She doesn't end here.  As a matter of fact, she'll go on long past me if the world is lucky.

And, she's not going to be a kid for much longer.

In addition to being taller than me, she's already prettier, funnier, and maybe even smarter than me. 

There are a million other things that she is too.  And that's why fifteen is just a number. 

(Although to her I'm sure it's a very important one)

Because no matter what unit of measure you use, she is so much to so many people.

You can count seconds and minutes and hours and days and weeks and months and years.

All that is, is basic addition.

A person is not made up of a measurement of time. 

A person is made up of the choices they make and their relationships with the people they love.

Courtney, you are beautiful beyond measure, and I love you.

Please always be as cool as you are now,

and keep making the right choices and remember where you come from.

Above all, please know you are awesome just for being you.

WHOLE

Just LOOK at this pizza.  Don't touch.  It's mine.  I got a speeding ticket on the way to pick it up.

It's stuffed crust.  It has wonderful almost burnt pieces of pepperoni.

It is whole.  All pieces are there.

And I could eat the whole thing. 

Probably not all at one time, but I could make it my breakfast, lunch, and dinner for a day.

I did not do this, however.  I shared my pizza with my husband and son.  Why?

Because when you have something so wonderful, you don't keep the whole thing to yourself.

You spread the wonderfulness to the rest of the world,

or your immediate family....whichever you may have time and resources for.

When I think of pizza, and how much I enjoy it,

and just the few slices that I get,

I think of my friends.

They are all so great, fun, smart, beautiful, all together fabulous people.

And I realize I only get my own little fraction of each of them. 

I mean they have lives, it's not like they can dedicate breakfast, lunch, and dinner to me.

I'd just like to tell them all how much I love them, and how amazing they are.

As a whole, unique, amazing person.

I also hope that they share their brilliance with others,

because keeping themselves shut off from people would be

equivalent to wasting an entire stuffed crust pepperoni pizza

after you got a speeding ticket on your way home after picking it up.

And that's just ridiculous.

CHARM

"Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the

charming gardeners who make our souls blossom." - Marcel Proust

My cousin's daughter MacKenzie is just shy of five years old.  Having a conversation with her should include an admission price and popcorn, because you're bound to be entertained.  It would be worth every penny.  MacKenzie is funny, smart, kind, and just look at her, she's gorgeous.



This is how part of our conversation went:

MacKenzie: You're hair is red!

Me: Yes I know...do you like it?

MacKenzie: Yeah!  It's like Ariel's hair!

Me: (Assuming she's talking about a girl at school.) Who is Ariel?

MacKenzie: You know, that girl that lives under the water.

She could have said, "The Little Mermaid", but she thinks of her first as a GIRL, who just happens to live under the water.  That's part of MacKenzie's charm.  It made me realize, this little girl has the potential to go so far, not because of how pretty she will certainly be, but because of how great of a personality she has.  We all know someone who is drop dead gorgeous, but lacking in the charm department.  Maybe they are unkind, or ungrateful, or any other "un-" word.  We like them a little less because they waste their beauty by having an ugly heart.  How sad.

What makes MacKenzie even more charming is that she doesn't even know how cute and awesome she is.  Here's a little more of our conversation:

Me: MacKenzie, how did you get to be so pretty?

MacKenzie: Oh, I was just dressed this way.

She sees herself as pretty when she's wearing pretty clothes, but she sees herself first as MacKenzie.  How awesome is that?  She's got the whole package.  And I'm lucky enough to be related to her.

Mostly, I'm happy for that half hour I was able to spend with MacKenzie. She makes my heart happy, and I hope I do the same for her.  

GLORY

How often are you less inclined to do something based purely on the knowledge that you will not receive any of the credit for it?
Let's think about the stem of a flower. 
They provide a few important functions: storing food for the entire plant, transportation between roots and the rest of the plant, and for holding up the flower of course.  But how many of us look at a tulip and think, "Wow, that stem is doing a fantastic job"?
A stem has no choice in it's day to day activities.  When the sun comes up, it's holding up a flower.  When the sun goes down, it's holding up a flower.  Animals of all shapes and sizes are drawn to the flower's aesthetically pleasing nature.  After all, it was designed that way by the man upstairs because the reproduction of the plant depends on something or someone transferring the pollen.
Birds, bees, dogs, people, pass by throughout the day admiring the flower, ignoring the stem.
Actually, a day of being ignored is probably a good day for a stem.  The alternative is the horror or failure.  A child on his way home from school decides to take a flower home to his mother and snaps the stem in two.  A nasty rain or wind storm proves too much for the stem to handle.  The stem endures all of this, risks its very being, just to support that flower in every way. 
But, it's worth it, right?  Just think of the bouquets and vases of flowers sent every day for some one's anniversary, birthday, or birth of a baby. 
Now imagine what life would be like if we all lived every day without worry of where our work would be attributed.  What if everyone made a choice based on what was the right thing to do, and not who would notice and what kind of attention it would bring?  It's unlikely, sure, but if we all worked together and didn't care who was the stem and who was the flower, we'd have a garden rivaling that of the Queen of England.  (Cheesy, yes, but true!)
It's amazing what could be accomplished if it didn't matter who got the glory.

RUT

Out in my front yard there are deep ruts from where people park.  Those meticulous landscaping lawn loving types would be horrified....but I'd rather have people visit me than have a perfect yard.
Anyway, while checking my mail today I noticed today just how perfect an opportunity a rut can be.
After all, one of the synonyms for rut is "groove".  Who doesn't like to groove?
How you define being stuck in a rut is unique to your own life and situation, but everyone who shares the feeling would probably say they don't feel as though they are moving.  At all.
Being stuck is no fun.  It's frustrating, time wasting, and down right muddy.
When you find yourself stuck, the first thing you should usually do is examine how you got into that situation.  Once that's been established, start looking around for tools to help yourself get out.  If you can't find your shovel, this is when you call a family member or friend.
Then you attempt at freeing yourself.  If the people around you aren't helping, it's time to change your company.  There is no point in remaining stuck solely due to the negativity of those around you.
You maybe be rocking yourself back and forth trying to get out.  That is the start of the "groove".
Once you get in a groove you can usually get out of the rut with ease, and maybe a little push. 
It seems that all you need to get out of a rut is just a little attitude adjustment.  Turn that rut into a groove.
A couple other things to note:
First, even after you're unstuck, a rut is usually still there, waiting for you to fall back into it.  That's how I was able to capture this picture.

Second, usually the monumental changes that occur in life usually happen just after a rut.  When you're finally unstuck, make sure you keep moving forward and embrace the progression.

It is not in the act of getting stuck that you find failure, it's in the act of staying stuck.

FLASH

Every once in a while, we all have a flash of genius.
And, every once in a while, we all have a flash of oops.
Whichever it may be, a flash is just that: a very brief moment.
Sometimes in life it's especially hard for me to remember what's important.  When I was growing up, nobody in my family had much extra money.  This includes extended family.  Sure, we all got by and did ok, but nobody was driving around in a Cadillac or wearing Chanel.
It's funny because when I think about my childhood, it's not what I didn't have that comes to mind.
It's running barefoot through the backyard with my brother and cousins in the dead of summer at dusk catching fireflies.
It's my uncles helping my dad work on a vehicle that "doesn't look good, but gets from point A to point B just fine."
It's the fact that my family tree is so big, I couldn't possibly be out on a limb by myself without being able to get back.
It makes me wonder about people that do have expensive cars and designer clothes.  I wonder if it gets exhausting trying to figure out whether or not people like you because of who you are, or the things you have.
When you don't have much, you don't have that concern. 
Some things in life are just glitter and shine. 
Some people in life, sadly, are just Porshe and Prada.  You might call them "flashy".  What will happen to them when the moment is over?  I'm not judging those that are financially able to enjoy the finer things in life.  I'm sure some of them are very good people.  It's the ones that don't know who they are without their glitter that I'm referring to.
Life may certainly be considered "easier" for those who have more, but I'd wager it's also lonelier.
We are all only here for a little while....just a flash.  It's not what you have while you're here that matters. 
Love is the one thing that money can't buy, and while I might not be rich monetarily, I'm certainly blessed in the very best way.
There is a very deliberate reason why this picture is in black and white.  If you take away the flash, what you see drastically changes.  It's the same thing with each of us. 

LOST

Do you ever just feel sort of like you are wandering around in circles, and although you know the general direction you'd like to go in, you keep having detours and roadblocks and eventually, you just feel lost?

We all have those days, where we've become so far removed from everything that we aren't sure what road we are on or even sometimes where in the world we are going.

These are the days when life isn't perfect.

You're mad. Or sad. Or somebody let you down, and hurt you in a way you never expected. 

Sometimes the hardest thing to stomach is when you let yourself down.

You can't figure out how to get out of the funk created by a problem.

One thing is for sure: if you always have your eyes on the rear view mirror you're not going to be able to steer yourself in the right direction. 

So get over it.  Forgive them.  Maybe, you need to forgive yourself.

It's okay to go on with life and be happy and stop feeling like a fish swimming around in a giant bowl.

Nobody, nobody, NOBODY, is infallible.  There is no point in burying the hatchet if you're just going to put a marker over the site and keep going back to visit.

Even if you aren't sure how to move forward, do it anyway.  When in doubt, just take the next small step.

Eventually one step becomes two and then three and then before you know it you're miles from where you started and feeling much better, much closer to home.

You do this just by first wanting to take the step, and then simply taking it.  You do not need someone to lead you, or to stand behind you and push you all the way.  You just need to make the move and go.

When I think about what feels like "home" to me, I think about my relationships with the people I love.  And even when I'm in my house, if there is a problem between myself and any of those that I love, I still feel a spacial disconnect and feel like I'm not quite sure of the ground I am standing on.

I only feel better when the issue is resolved.

You might think I'm making this sound soooooo easy. 

You might be thinking, "Yeah right...like I can just 'get over it' and then everything will be better."

I'm not saying that there is a magic fix to the problems we face in life.

I'm saying that you have to be genuinely willing to be a part of the solution.

We can blame other people for a lot of things that happen to us in life,

but we can't blame them for how we react to anything.

I'm simply suggesting that the next time you feel lost, just try and take the first step in the right direction and see how it works out for you.  You might be pleasantly surprised.

Follow you're heart and you'll never get lost.

CLUTCH

We woke up this morning to news that a star athlete named Wes Leonard from a neighboring town died moments after sinking a shot during overtime in a basketball game that left his team with a perfect record for the season.  I don't know this kid; in fact, I've never even heard his name before this morning.  What I have read in news reports is that he was a gifted athlete.  Besides being a leader on the basketball court, he was also quarterback of their football team. 
When someone is dependable in crucial situations, we often refer to them as "clutch".  That's exactly how we can describe Wes Leonard's last minutes on Earth. 
I have also learned through comments of people who actually knew him that he excelled as a student and more importantly, it appears as though he was a geniunely nice person.  Obviously he will be missed.  I'd even feel confident in saying this community has now been left with a void.  How does his family go on?  How do his teammates continue, considering they have surely made the playoffs?
Clutch can also mean "to hold tightly".  The community of Fennville will get through this.  After all, life goes on.  But by holding on tight to each other, they will heal.
Life is so precious.  You don't get another chance.  When I hear of tragedies like what happened to Wes Leonard, I can't help but think of my own two little men. 
No doubt, Wes Leonard's mother has a memory like this:



My heart aches for her especially.  I hope she will clutch those memories, and I hope and pray they are a great comfort to her.  Nothing is as unimaginable to me as the loss of a child, and I'm sure I have no idea of the storm going on in her heart right now.  I hope there are people in her life right now that are "clutch"-that she can depend on them and that they will come through for her. 

It's amazing, I don't even know this woman or what she looks like, but I wish I could hug her, and I'd hold on tight. 

UNITY

Imagine a world where macaroni hates cheese.  (GASP.)
They never bumped into each other, and instead they go to greath lengths to avoid one another completely.
Macaroni goes about its business, with lame attempts at greatness involving goulash and picnic salads.
Cheese can stand on it's own, and gets along with just about everyone else, but it has never known the true glory it craves so badly.
If only they could work together, they'd see that the very best of teams can achieve fantastic success.



We are lucky enough that at some point cheese bought macaroni a drink and they hooked up in glorious unity.  Yeah, I said it.  One of the very best things in this world is the result of a cheap one night stand.  Okay, maybe not but I'm sure it was a chance occasion when someone said, "Hey, what if....."

So, what can be learned from macaroni and cheese? 

Well, for starters, you have two very ordinary things, each capable of standing on their own two feet.  Without each other, however, they just can't quite reach what they both long for.  If they suck it up and help each other out, they both get what they want.

But, it's more than that...because when you put macaroni and cheese together, they aren't just good-they are awesome!  Could it be that true cooperation occurs when two seperate entities join forces and not only help each other out but actually make each other better?  Who doesn't like something that makes other stuff better? 

If we can apply this to our relationships in life, imagine what we can do!  A partner in life isn't the person you can't live without, it's the person who is the cheese to your macaroni.  They don't necessarily need you either but when you two work together everyone benefits.  This, my friends, is true unity.